I raise my voice FAR too often with my son. I get irritated with him very quickly and I go from 0 to 100 like THAT. It’s something that I know I have to work on, and I try, but in my head I just think, “well, I have to do something.” But the real question is…do I?
I was NEVER an uptight person before I had children. I was that guy who was like “I’m gonna be so laid back when I have kids. My kids are gonna be so cool. They’re gonna do what they want and make great choices.” Yeah, turns out I’m NOT that guy. As it turns out, I’m the guy that is worried that EVERYTHING my children do will result in instant death or paralysis. And so I ask them to stop. And when they don’t, especially my 4 year old son, I raise my voice. And here’s the thing. It has pretty much NEVER worked.
I get so mad that my son has to be told over and over again that something is not ok and he still seems to do the same thing anyway. And I can never figure out why that is. Until I realize that his father deals with those things IN THE EXACT SAME WAY, over and over again, even if he’s told (and knows) that it’s not working.
One of the things that I’ve noticed is that the more freedom I provide my son, the better behaved he is. When I’m not right on top of him, calling him out on every little thing that he does, he tends to be a pretty good kid. In fact, his WORST behavior seems to be when I get on him about his behavior.
Look, you have to control your kids. I get it. You can’t have your kids running rough shod through the neighborhood, kicking dogs and punching old ladies. I get it. But when you lean on your kids, they’re going to lean back. I’ve committed to keeping my voice down, giving a little room to Vader and just seeing what happens.
Kids. Am I right?