I Require Water, Father

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WaterThe other day my Vader asked me if he could have a drink of water. Now, let’s start by setting the scene. I was in the kitchen, doing the dishes and feeding Chewy. Vader was in the living room, watching TV on the couch. His water bottle was directly in front of him and when I mean directly I mean that if he had had a sudden cramp in his hamstring and his leg had involuntarily shot forward, he would have booted his water bottle off the coffee table. In any case, I came into the room form the kitchen and was in the middle of asking him where his water bottle was when I used my eyes and located it. At that point I told him that a) yes he could have a drink and that b) his water bottle was right in front of him. I then returned to the kitchen where Chewy had (presumably) eaten an entire bowl of pasta and a kiwi because apparently her plan is to play offensive line for the Rams in her near future.

It was about a minute later that Vader came toddling out of the living room and into the kitchen where he asked me if I could fill up his water bottle because it was empty. I had my back to him and said “sure”. I turned around, expecting to see a toddler holding a water bottle. Instead, what I saw was the back of a water bottle-less toddler as he headed back into the living room. I followed him because, hey, I was curious. Upon entering the living room I discovered that the water bottle was still sitting in plain sight on the coffee table. It appeared to have moved slightly which led me to understand that Vader had picked up the water bottle, attempted to drink from it, noted that it was empty and then made his way to the kitchen to let me know of his plight…without the water bottle. Breathe.

One of the things that I’ve come to realize lately, through much pulling of what’s left of my own hair and burying my head in my hands, is that kids are not there to make your life easier. Now, occasionally they do make your life easier, they often make your life better and they always make your life more interesting. But there is nothing in the handbook that says, “your child will be rational and reasonable”. In fact, there IS a chapter in the handbook titled “The Rational and Reasonable Child”. It has a picture of Bigfoot and a question mark.

I know that Vader will get to an age where he will be perfectly capable of mowing the lawn, washing the car and doing the dishes. And yet I’m still stunned that a boy would make his way THAT FAR into another room to tell me that his water is empty and not bring the water bottle with him. Every day is a new level of amazement.